


Divergence

by CajunSpice714



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, The Divergent Reylo Fic No One Asked For, There will be mentions and descriptions of emotional and physical abuse in this., it's going to be all sorts of violent, this be a Divergent fanfic, various types of assault will happen as well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2020-10-10 13:10:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20528570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CajunSpice714/pseuds/CajunSpice714
Summary: Our choices define who we are. Abnegation Rey navigates her choice to stay with her parents along with relationships with her fellow Abnegation members. One big question lingers though. Who is Ben Solo and why is he now a constant figure in Rey's life?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [here4thereylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/here4thereylo/gifts).

  
**Our universe grants every soul a twin-**

**a reflection of themselves -the kindred spirit – And no matter where they are or how far away they are from each other- even if they are in different dimensions, they will always find one another. This is destiny; this is love.**

**-Julie Dillon**

  
  


Her throat feels tight as she stands behind her parents, bandage pressed to her hand to stop the bleeding from where she had cut it with the knife before dropping blood onto Abnegation stones.  _ This is the right choice, right? My parents chose me so now I choose them. _ Right now Rey is unsure about her choice. Rey’s mother, Jyn, smiles; her eyes holding a bit of sadness - Rey has never seen that look in her eyes before - but also happiness and maybe a bit of pride? Rey knows she will never be free from the suffocating life the Abnegation wants her to lead but at least she has them, her parents, and they are happy.  _ I can do this, _ Rey tells herself as she helps stack chairs with the other initiates of her faction, taking cues from her mother and father as they talk lightly with the rest of the Abnegation members who have come for the ceremony.

“Rey,” she lifts her head when her mother calls, setting down her chair and stepping over to where her mother is greeting the other initiates. There are eight total, five Abnegation, and three transfers. The Abnegation Rey knows from around her home: Her neighbor Susan, Anthony ,and Alvin - twin boys who live up the street from Rey; both dark-haired with small noses and large, deep-set eyes, and a brown-haired mousy girl who Rey had sat next to in math for two years but could not remember her name.  _ That’s the problem with Abnegation,  _ Rey has always thought,  _ we are so plain and draw no attention to ourselves that even in our own faction we cannot tell each other apart. _

The transfers consist of two Candor: a black-haired boy with wide, terrified eyes who was the first transfer from Rey’s year, a small, redheaded girl who refused to watch as the other factions left, and an Amity boy with sandy brown hair and a soft smile.

The smile falls from the Amity transfer’s face when a large hand claps down on his shoulder. “For the next thirty days,” a voice booms, causing more than just Rey to jump, “You will be assigned to a variety of volunteer positions so you can get a feel for what you would like to do here in Abnegation.” Alistar Snoke is a tall, thin man who is also the leader of their government. Rey tries to fight the scowl forming on her lips and looks down to hide her displeasure in how rough he is being to the transfer.

“For now, we will take you to the Government building where transfers will be assigned your initiation foster home and everyone’s week one volunteer placement will be chosen.” Does Rey get to stay with her parents until after initiation? That’s a relief. “If you wish to return to a position, you may do so after week three of initiation. After the final day, there will be a ceremony, where you shall be assigned to your living quarters as an adult.” Something, to Rey, feels off about Snoke’s smile, his too cheerful voice, and his controlling demeanor. She chastises herself for being judgemental even in thought, though she can’t quite keep the suspicion from her mind.

_ Suspicion is selfish. I am not selfish.  _ Rey reminds herself.  _ I am selfless, I am nothing. I am selfless, I am nothing. I am selfless, I am nothing. _

She can’t help but give her mother a shy smile when they enter their home an hour later. Rey has been given the assignment of working in the infirmary clinic between Abnegation and Erudite headquarters. “I’m glad you chose to stay,” Jyn whispers into her hair. Rey feels thrown for a few moments, her world off balance at her mother’s statement. Isn’t her expression of happiness selfish? But Jyn is not selfish. Rey has to remind herself that she is being treated as an adult now; not a small insignificant child, but as a peer. She returns the smile, hugging her mother again.

“Shall we get some boxes from the neighbors and pack away some things in the spare room for when we are placed with an initiate?” Jyn’s statement shakes her a bit but she’s not sure which upsets her more; the fact that her mother is allowing Rey to see that she is visibly upset by Poe’s leaving, or that Poe’s room is now being referred to as “the spare room” as if her brother hadn’t been sleeping there just last night.

“I’ll do it.” Rey offers, her voice soft as she touches her mother’s arm. “I’ll do it.” Her mother nods, allowing her to leave to go next door.

When Susan opens the door Rey notices that her eyes are red and her cheeks are tear-stained as if she had been crying. “R-Rey, come in.” She offers, her voice shaking as she steps aside. Rey wants to reach out and comfort her but she isn’t sure how.

“H-how are you?” Rey’s voice sounds dry and hollow. Mechanical.

“Fine,” Susan hiccups as her father answers for her. “We’ll be fine, thank you for asking Rey. How are you and your parents?”

“Alright,” Rey replies with a nod. She rests a hand on Susan’s arm and offers a small smile. “Come join us for dinner,” Rey suggests. She knows not cooking and cleaning for one night isn’t going to help anyone really, but it seems like a selfless thing to do. Susan nods and looks over her shoulder where her father nods also.

“Thank you, Rey, that would be lovely.” Rey smiles and nods her head, backing out of their home before heading back to her own. She should have asked her mother before inviting guests over, but Rey doesn’t think she’ll have a problem with it.

“Mother?” She calls, entering the house.

“Up here.” Her mother’s soft voice calls from upstairs. Rey heads up the stairs to find her in Poe’s room, packing books into his plain bookshelf. Rey frowns and moves to sit on her knees next to her mother.

“I said I would do it, mom.” She states softly.

“Did you bring the boxes?” Jyn asks, ignoring Rey’s comment. Rey had honestly forgotten the boxes when she had seen Susan so upset.

“No. Susan was so upset over Robert, that I forgot about the boxes and invited her and her father for dinner.”

Jyn smiles. “That was very kind of you, Rey.” She responds, stacking books in her arms as she seeks out another place to put them, the bookcase full.

“We can put some in my room until we can get enough boxes together to donate them,” Rey tells her, taking the books and trekking across the hall to her room, shoving the books into her bookshelf with ease. 

It takes less than an hour to make Poe’s room suitable for an initiate. They smile at each other and return downstairs so Rey can begin dinner. As she is cutting carrots she hears her father, Cassian, enter their home. He and Jyn talk for several moments before she feels his large hand skim her hair. “How was the rest of your day, Rey?” He asks, pulling extra chicken from the freezer to thaw.

“Fine,” Rey responds, looking over her shoulder to watch him with a small smile.

“Snoke and his charge, Ben, are coming over with the two new initiates. One will be staying with us and the other with the Blacks.” Rey nods, adding more carrots to the stack she is cutting, making sure there is enough to feed nine people. Rey looks over her shoulder and watches her mother and father work together to pull apart the table and add two leaflets and five chairs to it. It has been so long since Rey had been with so many people in a home of their size; she had to think to remember when. The only time she could remember was when Ben had come into the care of Snoke when Rey was a child. She can’t honestly recall having even seen Ben since, then considering he was 2 years her senior.

Rey answers the door at the first knock; Susan and her father stand there with soft smiles. “Thank you for inviting us Rey, “ Susan states, offering out a casserole she had made. Rey takes it and brings it to the table, thanking her as the two walk. Snoke, Ben, and the two transfers follow minutes after, each dipping their heads to Cassian who greets them.

Once everyone is seated, Rey looks around and smiles to herself. Her father starts serving, passing each bowl to the right when he’s done. This is nice; having a full house is a change from the subdued dinners that usually happened with just Rey, Poe and their parents. A twinge develops in Rey’s chest at the thought of Poe, but it’s quickly wiped away when a hand is offered from the left.

Rey blinks at the hand and then looks up at the owner: Ben. Rey has never held hands with a boy before, except Poe, but as she slides her hand into his it feels different than what Rey imagined it would have been with any other boy. It’s like her skin is on fire, each nerve ending connecting with his in some strange electrical way and her lips part in surprise. She doesn’t know if he feels it too because when she looks up at him he has his eyes closed and head bowed, her father’s voice slipping over everyone as he says grace. Rey quells her curiosity and mimics her peers.

Cassian thanks God for their family, friends, initiates and their health. He gives praise to Rey for their meal and their guests for helping and Jyn for her love. Rey smiles at this and hopes that someday she will have a love like theirs. They eat quietly for a bit before Cassian starts a conversation with Snoke. Rey relaxes a bit and Susan shifts closer to speak quietly with her. “Where did you get placed?” she asks.

“I’m helping at the clinic this week,” Rey replies. Susan nods and is about to respond when Snoke’s voice cuts in.

“You’ll be working under Ben then, I suspect.” Rey’s attention turns to Ben, realizing she knew nothing about the man sitting next to her. Ben dips his head in a nod but continues to eat quietly.

“Is it a difficult job, Ben?” Susan asks, “It’s awfully kind of you to care for those who are ill or in pain.” She smiles at him with almost worshipful eyes and Rey feels a pang of something deep in her stomach.

Ben looks embarrassed by Susan’s attention and lifts a shoulder. “It’s very rewarding work, helping those who need it,” Ben replies. Susan nods, but suspicion creeps into Rey’s mind again; for some reason, his answer feels rehearsed. Rey gives him a smile, which he returns before turning back to his food. Rey notices, out of the corner of her eye, a brief sour look on Snoke’s face before she returns to her meal.

After dinner, Susan and the transfers clean up and bring the dishes into the kitchen while Ben and Rey wash them. They are silent as they scrub until everything has been brought in and they are alone with the promise of no interruptions for a time. “Are you alright?” Rey asks, touching Ben’s arm gently. He pulls away too quickly, eyes wide as he looks from Rey to the wet spot on his shirt and then back to Rey.

“Fine.” His voice is hollow like he has been sucked of all emotion. What’s wrong with him? Curiosity isn’t a quality Abnegation are supposed to have but Rey has never really been able to completely stomp it out. 

“You’re not fine.” She whispers, looking over her shoulder to see if anyone can hear them. Jyn and Susan are knitting while Cassian and Snoke talk, the two initiates quietly observing. “You can tell me, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.” Ben snaps and Rey is taken aback by the sudden emotion in Ben’s eyes. Fear? Anger? She hasn’t seen either of those emotions in such a long time that she can’t quite register which Ben was trying to contain. Rey nods and they dissolve into silence once again. The dishes take longer than Rey had expected, especially with Ben so tense next to her, like he’s ready to take flight. They both jump when Snoke’s voice crosses into the kitchen.

“Ben, I believe it’s time to take our leave.”

Ben sets aside the plate he was drying and nods to Rey. “Thank you for dinner, Rey.” He dips his head and offers her a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, before entering the living room to thank Cassian, Jyn, Susan and her father for the evening. Rey frowns as he catches her eye again as he follows his mentor out, a curious look on his face - one that Rey doesn’t quite understand.

After Susan and her father leave, Rey gets more acquainted with their transfer. He is the Amity with the kind smile Rey had met earlier. He isn’t handsome by any standard - kind of plain like abnegation boys Rey had grown up with- with sandy hair and small facial features. His name is Randolph and he has been assigned to help with lunch at the lower level school. Part of Rey wishes she could switch places with him, knowing that tomorrow she will have to face Ben again, and spend an entire eight hours learning all she can from him about working in the infirmary. The knot in her stomach makes her feel like this will be a complete disaster.


	2. Chapter 2

The bus they take to get to the clinic is less crowded than it was on choosing day, but Ben gives his seat to an elderly woman who bustles onto the bus at the last minute. Rey stands with him, feeling his eyes on her face but she refuses to look up. She knows he is judging her, wondering why it's not so easy for her to give up her seat to someone as it is for him. She holds onto the pole that stands in the middle of the bus, unable to reach the overhead bars from her position. 

The bus hits a rough patch in the road and Rey's shoulder makes contact with Ben's ribcage. His arm drops from it's spot to her shoulders to steady her for a brief moment, leaving them both breathless. "Careful, Rey." His voice is soft, so soft Rey isn’t sure she even registers it, before his arm is gone and his attention is turned back to the doors, away from Rey and toward their destination, losing himself once again. Rey wishes it was that easy for her to forget herself, but instead she looks around at the people on the bus with them, just small glances, taking in their surroundings.

The bus stops and Ben and a few others move to get off. Rey stumbles over her too long pant legs and a voice follows her off the bus, “Walk much, Stiff?” Followed by laughter from other patrons on the bus. Ben’s mouth is set into a scowl as Rey finally gets off the bus, like it was some great inconvenience to wait for her. Once she is at his side again Ben turns and starts walking towards the clinic.

Rey has only been to the clinic a few times in memory, mostly for check ups through out her child hood, and once when her mother had broken her arm and needed to have her cast taken off. People come to the clinic when the hospital isn’t really needed because it is in the Erudite area of the city - it’s too far away for any sort of visit that isn’t an emergency. 

When they enter, the clinic smells like cleaning products and lemon spray - like the fresh lemonade Rey had once had when visiting Amity as a child. Ben leads her to what looks like a meeting room where she sits with the others. One of the other Abnegation initiates, the Candor transfer Allen, sits next to Rey but the rest are Erudite initiates dressed in blues.

“For the next week you will be under my guidance.” An erudite woman dressed in a dark blue suit with white trip states, walking towards the front of the room. “The Abnegation initiates will be helping the nurses with patient care. You will learn how to monitor and record vital signs, where to retrieve items the medical staff needs and how to clean the rooms when you are finished. Please greet Ben and Meralee.” Rey hadn’t seen the other Abnegation woman dressed in gray scrubs enter, but when she looks up, Meralee is there and Ben is not. _ Where did he go? _“They will be your guardians in showing you today how to do things and tomorrow you will be on your own. If you have questions, please ask. The Erudite initiates that are here will be assigned to a doctor depending on which practice you are most interested in researching.” A clipboard and a stack of grey clothing is handed to Rey. “Rey and Allen, Meralee will show you where to change and where to put your belongings for the day.” Both initiates nod and stand before being lead to the bathrooms to change.

The scrubs Rey is supposed to wear are thin and she feels naked with them on. Separating her undershirt from her top, Rey pulls it off before pulling her scrub top on over it, feeling less exposed. She tucks her belongings into her bag before washing her hands and exiting the room. Ben is standing outside the door quietly speaking with Meralee. “Rey, you are assigned to follow Ben, Allen you’re with me.” Meralee says with a smile and Rey’s stomach plummets. She had hoped she would be with Meralee; something about Ben unnerves her.

“Come on.” Ben gestures for Rey to follow. She notices how he is also in gray scrubs, but his arms are showing, not wearing anything under his scrub top from what Rey can tell. Rey is not sure why, but she can feel her cheeks flush when the muscles in his arms flex as he points to something to their left. “Blankets, towels and other linens are in this closet here.” Rey nods. Linen closet: check. “Here are medical supplies.” Ben steps into a room full of medical supplies and gestures around, Rey’s eyes catching on his arms again. “Everything is labeled. The medical staff will tell you what they need, and you will come in here and get it. Not that hard.” Rey nods again and follows him out. “Each room has its own collection of cleaning supplies.” He steps into a recently vacant room and Rey follows again. All of this following makes her feel stupid but Rey watches anyways. Ben explains each motion step by step for her and Rey wonders if Ben thinks she’s too stupid to just watch and learn from him that way.

“Strip the paper from top to bottom, spray, wipe, and spread out more paper. Wipe down the sink, computer keyboard and screen, and the door knobs.” he does everything in a mechanically learned sort of way and Rey just watches with a frown. Moving onto the next room, Ben takes the folder tucked into the door. He picks it up, looks over the chart before showing it to Rey. “All we need to know is the person’s name and gender.” He states before knocking on the door.

“Hello Mr. Andrews.” Ben calls, entering the room when the okay is given. “I’m Ben and this is one of our initiates, Rey. Is it alright if I show her how to take and record your vital signs?” The man - a balding, middle aged Erudite - nods. Ben sits down in the chair across from him and shows Rey the instruments he will be using. He pulls a pad from a drawer, attaches it to a wire and then sticks it to the man’s temple. “For taking his temperature” Ben tells Rey before wrapping a cuff attached to another wire around the man’s upper arm “for taking blood pressure.” Finally he wraps a bit of tape attached to yet another wire to the man’s forefinger. “Oxygen and pulse. You push this button here and wait for the beep; it takes maybe three minutes tops.” Rey stands, hands clutched in front of her and nods.

The machine beeps and Rey looks up to read the numbers. Ben points to each one before pointing to the computer screen where they are supposed to be put into the computer. “Blood pressure goes here,” he types the number before moving to the next box, “pulse here, oxygen in percentage, temperature in Celsius.” Rey follows his fingers and nods whenever he looks up at Rey to make sure she’s following his directions. Once everything is put into the computer, Ben stands and removes everything from Mr. Andrews. He throws the pads away and sanitizes the cuff around his arm with a wet wipe that smells like bleach. “Thank you Mr. Andrews,” Ben says, bowing his head to the man before exiting the room. Rey squeaks out a quick ‘thank you’ before following him out.

“I know it’s a lot to take in on your first day,” Ben states as theywe move on to clean another room, “but we haven’t had anyone fail initiation, yet.” Rey isn’t sure if he’s trying to reassure her or warn her that he thinks she might fail. In the next room he lets Rey take the lead, observing as she puts on gloves, removes the paper, and wipe down surfaces. In the next room, they meet an Abnegation woman waiting for the doctor. Taking vital signs is more nerve-wracking than cleaning rooms because of the interaction with people, which makes Rey a bit nervous. Sometimes she wonders if they can see it, if she has “Divergent” written on her forehead. She shakes some hair from her eyes as she copies down the numbers into their appropriate spots and removes the equipment just as Ben had done with the last patient. They bid her a good day and exited the room.

“It’s not that hard.” Rey states, smiling to herself as they move onto the next room. “Why did you choose this as your job?” She asks Ben as they walk.

He pauses, frowning down at Rey in a seemingly puzzled manner, but answers. “I don’t like to see people in pain and want to do everything I can to help those who need it.” Again Rey gets the feeling that his answers are rehearsed. 

Lunch time comes around and Ben leaves Rey with the other initiates. Sitting next to Allen, Rey offers him a small smile which he returns before starting on his meal. The Erudite down the table from them talk excitedly about their studies and one tries to balance his fork on his nose. When the fork falls into the applesauce on his plate Rey can’t help but laugh with the others as both his clothes and the table end up covered in applesauce. Allen looks stricken, wide eyes fixed on Rey before getting up to retrieve a cloth and help clean up the table. One of the Erudite girls looks at Rey suspiciously before she realizes she should be helping and jumps up to follow Allen. Once the table is clean and the Erudite have left, Rey and Allen return to their meals.

The rest of the day continues as the morning had. Ben and Rey work together cleaning the rooms and take turns taking vital signs and retrieving items for the medical staff. Once, while cleaning, Rey’s hand brushed Ben’s, the shock curling along her fingers, up her arm and down into her stomach again, but his hand was gone before Rey could process what it meant. By closing time, Rey has settled into the routine of the job she will have for the next week.

When she arrives home it is to her mother helping Randolph in the kitchen, preparing the evening meal and her father isn’t home yet. “Hello Rey,” Randolph calls, giving Rey a subdued smile. “How was your day?” Rey’s mother smiles at her as she moves to set the table.

“Fine thank you, how was yours?” Rey doesn’t look up as she fetches silverware and sets them out for later use. She doesn’t really listen as Randolph talks about his day, her mind wandering back to Ben and the two times their hands had touched. What did that strange feeling in her stomach mean? She smiles and nods as if she’s actually listening and moves to see if there is anything else she can do to help in the kitchen, still half listening to Randolph talk.

Dinner is a quiet affair, something that Rey is used to. They eat, talk briefly about their days, and then retire to the living room for the evening after everything is cleaned up. Rey helps her mother knit scarves and Randolph and Cassian speak about the Abnegation Government and what Cassian does there.

After nodding off several times over her knitting, Jyn suggests to Rey that she turn in early, and Rey agrees. She hugs her mother and father before dipping her head politely at Randolph and heading upstairs to get ready for bed.

Dreams are a peculiar thing. In this dream, Rey imagines she’s chosen Dauntless and for initiation she had to jump on and off of a moving train, and then jump off of a cliff into a large body of water. The jumping didn’t scare Rey, heights had never bothered her. But the water, that was a scary thought because Rey had never learned how to swim.

The rest of the week goes slowly. It’s a repetitive motion of her training with Ben. Every day she goes to the clinic, goes through the motions Ben taught her, go home, help with the housework and dinner, knit, shower, and go to bed. She only sees Ben one other day that week before she receives her next assignment: night shift at a nursing home.

By the time nine p.m. on her first shift of the week comes around, Rey is already tired even though she had been allowed to rest during the day in preparation for the long nights. Rey’s father takes the bus with her since it is dark and the factionless like to attack people getting on and off the busses late in the evenings. Once they arrive, he kisses her hair before heading back to the bus stop to wait for the return bus home. Rey walks the last block to the home and enters, licking her bottom lip as she goes. 

Heading to the front desk Rey is startled to note that Ben is sitting, working at a computer at the desk. “Uhm…” She states dumbly, blinking in surprise when amber eyes turn to her, locking her in his gaze.

“There are scrubs in the break room. Go change and we’ll walk through the tasks for the night.” He tells her before looking back at the screen. Rey nods and goes into the break room to gather the scrubs and change into them in the bathroom. _ How is it, _ Rey wonders as she changes, _ that I keep getting him as my mentor? _ Once she is changed she returns to Ben, hands clutched in front of her as she waits. 

“The work we do here is simple but rewarding work. Basically, we answer the lights that come on here,” He taps a blank light board with numbers written on them to his left, “and we go help the people who need help. At twelve and four o’clock we check on everyone on our hall and make sure no one needs to be changed.” Rey blinks as she stands and Ben indicates for her to follow him down the hallway that is to be theirs for the night. “We get ice and cups from here.” He stops, pushing open the door to a room and Rey follows. When he starts lining up cups, Rey moves to help.

“How many do we need?” She asks setting up a row of cups next to his.

“Twenty-two,” Ben replies and Rey nods, shifting to start scooping ice into each cup. Once the cups are full, Ben pulls out several bottles of water and offers one to Rey. They fill the cups in silence, Rey trying to process how she keeps ending up so close to Ben. 

When he fills the last cup, Ben begins snapping lids onto them and Rey opens and deposits a straw into each cup. Their teamwork takes them ten minutes to get the twenty two cups situated before they start going door to door to switch out each person’s old mug with a new one. Rey is surprised with how quiet Ben is on his feet. He’s tall and broad but kind of awkward looking, but beneath that Rey is sure there is some muscle somewhere. She blushes at that thought and shakes it from her head, knocking gently on the door across the hall from where Ben had just disappeared, entering and swapping out the mugs.

A hand jerks out from the bed and Rey lets out a loud startled screech. The old woman laying there starts murmuring random nonsense as the light flickers on and Ben enters, “Rey what-” His voice cuts off at the panic stricken look on Rey’s face and a chuckle escapes him. This is the first time Rey has heard him laugh. “I see you’ve met Mrs. Bradshaw.” Rey frowns at him, unsure how her situation can be perceived as funny to Ben. The woman holds Rey’s arm so tightly in her hand that Rey is sure it will bruise by the morning. 

Ben steps over and Rey tries to move as far to the side as she can so he can get between her and the woman. Ben kneels his tall frame on the floor next to the bed and starts talking in a deep, calming voice that vibrates through Rey’s chest in a pleasing way. The hand releases her arm and Rey rubs her wrist while backing away, watching them interact curiously.

Once he has tucked her back into bed, Ben meets Rey back in the hallway. Rey scowls. The experience was terrifying and she doesn’t appreciate being teased. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Ben laughing at her because she had been startled - maybe he wasn’t as Abnegation as Rey had thought. They finish the water with no other interruptions and return to the room where they had gotten the ice to dump the used mugs. 

“We also gets snacks and drinks from here if someone asks for one, though it’s pretty rare this late at night that anyone does.” He checks his watch and nods. “We have a bit of time before we do our rounds, I’m going to work on documentation for our hall.” Rey nods and follows him back to the desk. Rey has been following him around a lot it feels like.

Rye gets bored watching him do the nightly charting after about ten minutes and pulls out her knitting. It’s tedious work, but it also lets her get herself lost in thought for a while. This isn’t so bad, but with all the down time Rey knows she will get bored quickly. Boredom is selfish and Rey knows she will never be content just sitting and knitting all night, so maybe this job isn’t for her.

By the time midnight rolls around, Rey has nodded off twice only to wake up to Ben clearing his throat or tapping his toes as he types, and taken a few steps outside to keep herself awake. When Ben tells her it’s time for rounds she nods even though she has no idea what she’s actually doing. The first few doors Ben just peeks in, however at the fifth door he enters completely and gestures for Rey to follow and close the door behind them. An old woman lays in the bed, looking as if she’s barely breathing. Ben talks to her in that calm voice of his as he pulls on gloves before shifting her to her side. When he begins to tug off her pants Rey’s eyes go wide. “What are you doing!?” She asks in surprise.

“We have to change her.” Ben states matter of factly. Rey is caught in the rich colour of his eyes again. ”Pull on a pair of gloves and come help.” Rey nods slowly and obeys, watching in mild horror as he shows her how to do the job that needs to be done. Once they are finished and back in the hallway, Rey finally summons up the courage to look at Ben again.

“Apparently you missed the part where I was explaining that we had to change people.” He flashes a grin that does funny things to Rey’s heart and she can only nod. She cannot find the words to express her displeasure, following silently as they continue their rounds and remaining silent for the rest of the night. Rey really doesn’t want to finish this shift, let alone come back tomorrow.

Ben and Rey catch the bus together with two Abnegation women who work on a different hall and Rey is finally able to sit after two hours of constant walking. She doesn’t remember dozing off, but Ben’s hand on her shoulder startles her awake when they reach their stop. He insists on walking her to her door, even though Rey argues that he is tired and should go home himself instead of worrying about her. It’s selfish to think that he wanted to walk with her for reasons other than her safety but Rey can’t help the blush that creeps across her cheeks when her mother opens the door with a small smile and thanks Ben before Rey can. Rey nods to him and heads inside, ready to collapse into bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey sleeps for several hours. She isn’t sure how many, but when she wakes she feels refreshed. She looks at her bedside table where the plain alarm clock sits, startled to read that it’s three in the afternoon. Getting up, she dresses quietly before heading downstairs to find whatever lunch had been prepared. She’s startled when she enters the kitchen to find Randolph there working on cutting up thawed chicken breast. “Hello Rey,” he states, eyes not straying from his task. “Your mother made lunch before she left for work and put yours in the refrigerator for when you woke up.” He points without looking up. Rey retrieves the plate from the shelf in the refrigerator and sits down to eat, watching Randolph curiously.

“Are you enjoying your new work?” She asks, the silence too awkward for her to bear.

“Your father is very welcoming and I’m picking up on the politics of Abnegation quickly under his guidance.” Rey nods, eating the salad with a hum, feigning interest. That sounds like her father. Losing herself in her tasks is easy for her mother, however, sometimes Rey notices the struggle and frustration her father has unless he is completely focused on his task. Rey gets that from him, she imagines because she is nothing like her mother. “You’re going back to the Elderly Home tonight, aren’t you?” Randolph pulls Rey from her thoughts and she nods before realizing he cannot see her.

“Yes.” Rey wonders, briefly, if Ben will be there again, wonders if she will be working with him again. “Would you like some help?” She asks, washing out her bowl. Randolph shakes his head and Rey nods. “I’m going to visit my mother, see if she needs help with anything.” In all honesty, Rey knows she’ll get bored just sitting and knitting, and she wants to take a walk without judgment. Taking time for yourself is selfish, but Rey isn’t entirely lying either. She does intend to see her mother, though she plans to take a bit longer of a route than what is considered necessary.

Rey walks four houses up and six over before turning to the south in the direction of her mother’s office. She walks slowly without real purpose, enjoying the warm air on her cheeks. It’s refreshing, being alone for the first time in what feels like ages. She passes a group of children jumping over cracks in the sidewalk like Poe and she used to do. Poe. Rey’s chest aches at the thought of him and she wonders if, and when, it will ever stop hurting when she thinks of him.

The door to the last house on the street is open and Rey looks around curiously. It’s odd for anyone in Abnegation to leave their doors wide open, even when the weather is nice, so she pauses in her steps trying to decide whether to see if everything is all right inside. As she moves towards the door Ben steps out, broom in hand, sweeping dirt from his front steps. He looks up as Rey is about to turn and walk away, his expression turning puzzled as if the sight of her confuses him. Rey blushes turning away to finish her walk. 

Entering the Volunteer Building, the thought of Ben leaves Rey’s mind as her mother’s warm face greets her.

* * *

The week flies by as Sunday comes around. Ben and Rey have worked out a routine and she’s only had to work one night without being his partner. She’s learned that on Monday evenings and Friday days he works at the clinic, so he doesn’t work at the elderly home on Thursday nights. She feels tired almost constantly now, because the hours are messing with her normal sleep schedule, so she takes a short nap before meeting Ben at the bus stop. She wakes up later than she intends to and has to rush to get ready.

The bus is already at the stop when Rey gets there and Ben holds the door for her as she gets on, her breath heaving from her chest as she plops down in a seat near the back of the bus, away from the others.

There are only six people on the bus tonight, two Candor men talking to each other, two Erudite who are quietly reading and Ben and Rey. They sit in silence, but after only a moment or two Rey turns to watch Ben curiously. He’s looking out the window, watching the buildings pass by as she watches him. He has a defined jaw, bold lips, and a strong jaw, the muscles in his neck flexing as he swallows. Rey swallows with him but her mouth feels dry. He’s a foot taller than her, maybe more, but his height doesn't intimidate Rey like others do, though Rey is sure he sometimes wishes he was more intimidating. His shoulders are broad but hunched and Rey knows he’s strong from watching him lift and turn people while they do their job. Much to her surprise, Rey wishes tonight wasn’t her last night.

  
  


Around midnight they get up to answer a light. Rey helps the older woman up and receives a smile that Rey returns. After they’re done in the bathroom, Rey helps the older woman back into bed and is turning to leave when her wrist is grabbed and she is pulled close. 

“Divergent” she states, as if she’s addressing Rey. Rey looks over her shoulder, startled, and tries to pull her hand away. “You’re one too, aren’t you?” The old woman wheezes, her hands tightening around Rey’s wrist. “I can see it in how you walk and talk. You don’t belong here, girl. Just like him - he doesn’t belong here, either, none of us do, but it’s okay.” The woman blinks, her eyes flashing to Rey’s. She’s serious. “I won’t tell.” Her eyes roll back and she begins to seize.

“Ben?! Ben!” Rey swears he had entered the room with her when she had first come in, but now she doesn’t know where he is. She yells out in surprise as the hands tighten painfully, forcing her to her knees as the woman continues to shake. When Rey manages to free her wrist she overbalances and falls back, smacking her head hard on the bedside table. “Ben!” 

Heavy footfalls enter the room but everything is fuzzy. Rey hears voices and sees Ben doing something to the woman as she tries to right the world but it hurts. The room goes quiet and Ben runs from the room. Rey is forgotten.

A few moments later, Ben returns with one of the other aids and an Erudite nurse. He lifts Rey up by the armpits and sets her on her feet then, but when she looks at them covering the old woman and closing her eyes - like she’s sleeping - the world sways and drops from underneath her and she feels the hard planes of Ben’s chest under her cheek. He’s talking, Rey can feel it rumble under her cheek, but she cannot make sense of the words or why she’s moving until she feels bone under her knees. She cannot help the blush that spreads across her face when she realizes that Ben is carrying her. The world warps again and she groans.

She blinks, feeling sluggish. The air feels warm on her face. _ Are we outside? _ There are faces, Rey can’t tell what they’re saying but she feels fingers on the back of her head. _ That hurts, _she tries to say, moving to swat at the pain, but her hands won’t obey and all she can do is groan.

* * *

  
  


Rey wakes up sometime later, her head throbbing. There’s a cuff on her arm that she slips off and shoves away before reaching up to prod the throbbing area on her head. There’s an ice pack there but when she moves to take it away a warm hand stops her. “Best to leave it.” A voice states, causing Rey to jump and turn her head too quickly. The world spins and Rey whimpers. Her father, Cassian, is sitting in a chair next to her bed, his face looking tired and his clothes rumpled. _ Why is he here? Where exactly is ‘here’? _

“Dad? What happened?” Rey asks, moving to sit up. It hurts and the world warps when she tries so she stays put, defeatedly.

“You hit your head at work. You’ll be fine once the swelling goes down. You have a concussion.” Rey blinks trying to remember exactly what happened. “Ben said you were helping a dying woman when you fell.” That’s right, the woman. Tears sting the corners of Rey’s eyes but she blinks them away. Crying won’t help right now. “I’ll go tell your mother you’re awake. She’s been worried.”

“How long have I been here?” Rey asks, realizing that she doesn’t know what time it is because her watch has been removed.

“About two days, Rey.” Poe. Rey feels like the world has splintered back together for a moment when she sees his face, standing beside their father. Her family is complete for the first time since Choosing Day and selfishly, Rey wishes more than anything else that it could stay that way.

“Poe.” their father pats him once on the shoulder and gives him a nod before leaving the room. If Poe is here that means Rey must be in the Erudite hospital.

Poe sits for a few moments, looking from Rey to the monitor and back with a frown. “They said the woman you were taking care of was epileptic. Fascinating how the brain works, isn’t it? It can fight against you with things like mental illnesses and seizures and it can fight for you by putting you to sleep for as long as your body needs to he-” Rey has never been more thankful for someone to interrupt Poe as she is in that moment, even more so that it’s their mother.

“Hello, Poe.” Their mother says, a neutral smile on her face. “How has your initiation been?”

“Fine, how have you been? Rey?” Poe looks between Rey and their mom with curious eyes.

“Aside from this one incident, we’ve been pretty good. Thank you for getting us in here.” Rey looks at her mother, then Poe, in confusion.

“Wait…Why did Poe have to get you in here?” Rey doesn’t quite understand the look Poe gives her and the pain in her temples only makes it worse.

“Abnegation aren’t allowed in Erudite.” Jyn states, moving to brush hair from Rey’s eyes. Rey looks from her to Poe again. His eyes are low as if he’s ashamed, but Rey still doesn’t understand completely. “I’ll let the nurse know you’re awake, Rey, and then maybe we can go home. We don’t want to bother the nurses longer than necessary.” Rey nods, though the motion makes her head throb again.

Jyn leaves, taking Poe with her. After she shuts the door Rey sees them talking through the glass window. Jyn looks serious and Poe’s eyes are wide. They look like they may be arguing for a moment before Poe nods and Jyn pats him on the shoulder before they both leave Rey’s line of sight.

* * *

  
  


When Rey is allowed to come home, she is sent straight to bed to rest. Even though she had slept for quite some time in the hospital, she easily drifts to sleep once she’s back in her own bed, but it doesn’t last long.

Rey wakes in a cold sweat and turns over to look at the alarm clock on her bedside table. _ 2:14 _ the red numbers glare. Heaving her tired body from the bed, Rey stands and pulls on her robe. No one would be outside at this time of night, so she slips out her window and balances on the sill before finding the holes in the concrete slab that make up the siding of the house. She pulls herself up as she has done what feels like a billion times before. The holes are there for the men to climb when the solar panels need maintenance; in case the ladder were to fall they would have a way to climb down. Rey had discovered them some time ago, when she was younger, and climbed them often when her mind was troubled.

The wind whips her clothes when Rey makes it to the roof. It’s chilly, but not cold enough to make her regret coming outside. She enjoys coming up here most nights because the feeling of making the climb up the side of the house makes her feel strong, and allows her a chance to be away from the world, even if it’s only for a short time. Rey hates feeling weak and today is the weakest she’s felt in a long time. She wants to fix it, so bad, but this is the life she picked and she doesn’t see any way she can change it now.

Clouds churn in the sky and it looks as if it will storm soon. Lightning flashes in the distance, past the fence and Amity farms, farther off than what Rey has ever really considered. _ What is out there? _ Rey ponders for a brief moment before another flash blinds her and she turns away. When she turns, however, something catches her eye. A motion on a rooftop two streets over. Rey tries to think of who lives in that house but she comes up blank. _ It’s empty, I think. _ Rey sees more bodies following and she crouches down, trying to hide as they draw closer, leaping from roof to roof with no care for what they’re doing.

A noise behind her startles Rey and she turns around. A girl has barely missed the roof, hanging on by her elbows and forearms, eyes wide with terror. Without thinking, Rey moves over and grabs one of her arms, trying to pull her up to safety. She is too weak to do it herself but a skid of gravel behind her signals someone else’s arrival on the roof. 

“Rose!” A male’s voice gasps and hands appear in Rey’s line of sight, gripping her other arm. Together they pull the girl, Rose, onto the roof and Rey collapses next to her as she laughs. 

“I thought you were going to let me fall, stiff.” Rose teases, elbowing Rey playfully.

Rey isn’t used to teasing like this so it takes her a moment to realize she’s joking. They’re Dauntless, seriousness isn’t their strongest suit. “Well,” Rey pauses, considering her words, “I’d end up having to help scrape you off the pavement and I’d rather not be subjected to that.” The boy next to them laughs and Rose looks shocked but it dissolves when she laughs as well.

“I didn’t think Stiffs knew what joking was, it’s too selfish, right?” Rey nods before realizing that the grin hasn’t fallen from her face. She hasn’t smiled this much in a long while.

“What are you doing jumping onto the roofs?” Rey asks, curiosity getting the better of her.

“Flirting with death.” The boy states before another boy, with broad shoulders and sandy blonde hair tumbles his way onto the roof. He stands, shocked for a minute, before looking between Rose and the other boy.

“Rose, Finn, we’re going to miss the train.” The newcomer says, looking back at Rey with a look that makes her uneasy.

Rose stands and Finn and Rey stand with her. “Calm down, Cee, we’re just corrupting the Stiff.” Finn waves to Rey and moves to swing himself over the building’s edge, finding the footholds easily and beginning his descent.

“Are you going to jump again?” Cee asks, still watching Rey curiously.

“I don’t know.” Rose moves to look over the edge. Rey goes with her and smiles seeing Finn down in the alley between her house and Susan’s. An overwhelming urge to prove to them that she isn’t just a dumb stiff rears its ugly head as she watches Cee hurl himself off of Rey’s home. He lands with a huff on his stomach on Susan’s roof. Without thinking, Rey takes a deep breath, gets a running start and jumps.

Rey feels an immense amount of pleasure at landing on her feet for a brief moment before collapsing to her knees on Susan’s roof. Cee stares at her like she’s grown a second head and Rose tumbles onto the roof next to them, her eyes wide. “Not bad for a Stiff,” she compliments, and Rey feels her cheeks heat. It’s rare for her to receive praise, ever. “Come on, do you think you can keep up?” Rose asks and Rey frowns. She doesn’t know, but now she’s determined to, or die trying.

They jump for what feels like hours. Rey is out of breath when they finally stop for a moment. Rey has learned that Rose is a Candor transfer born, Finn is Dauntless born, and Cee is from Erudite. They’re being trained for Dauntless by fighting, shooting guns and doing daring stunts like tonight’s roof jump. Rey learns that one of the Dauntless leaders, Hux, isn’t a very nice person, especially when Cee shows her a series of stitches on his upper arm from where he was stabbed with a knife during a training session recently. Rose just keeps talking whenever they hit a roof and Rey enjoys her constant babble that only pauses when they reach a roof’s edge.

On the next roof over, there is a gathering of people, all dressed in Dauntless black. Rey will stick out like a sore thumb so she hangs back as Finn and Cee jump. Rose gives her a funny look. “None of the leaders are here,” Rose tells her, offering her hand. “Just a couple of the older Dauntless members and some other initiates. Are you a mouse or a man?” Rose teases.

Rey takes Rose’s hand and they run and leap, landing amid cheers. Those cheers die down when Rey is noticed. And then, when two older Dauntless step forward Rey notices him, dressed in all black. The air leaves her lungs in surprise.

_ Ben. _


	4. Chapter 4

Rey feels the breath leave her lungs in surprise. Ben’s eyes are as surprised to see her as she is him. She has never realized how expressive his eyes are until that moment, but his voice is hard and dark when he addresses Rose, Finn and Snap. “Why, exactly, did you think bringing a stiff to this meeting would be a good idea?” Rey doesn’t like the tone of voice he uses. She doesn’t like this side of Ben, she decides easily. The other, older Dauntless just watch as he verbally attacks the trio as if it was nothing they hadn’t seen before. _ Who is this person? _Finn makes a move to defend Rose but Rey gets to her first, stepping between them and putting her hands on Ben’s chest to push him away. Her hands tingle with the heat he’s radiating in his anger.

“I followed her.” Rey states in her boldest voice, giving him a shove. She doesn’t remember deciding to push him, but when she does she gasps to herself. “Leave her alone.” Rey has never stood up to someone before. Of all the times she had actually wanted to stand up to people from other factions for picking on the Abnegation, it was a member of her own faction she was defending someone against. Chuckles fill the air around them and Rey frowns. _ Why are people laughing? _Ben gives her a strange look, not of anger, and turns to walk away when someone, a girl about his age with long dark hair pulled into a high ponytail, tugs on his arm.

“Come on Kylo, she’s not worth it. Who knows, maybe we have a future Dauntless in our midst when she comes of age.” _ They don’t think I’m old enough to be an initiate? _ Normally Rey would be irritated, but tonight she thinks she can work with this. The name the girl calls Ben, _ Kylo _ , confuses Rey. _ Why are people calling him something other than his name? _

“Initiates, back to the train!” The dark-haired girl yells, and it only takes that one yell to set the Dauntless into motion. Rose gives Rey a smile and a wave before leaping onto another building and climbing her way down with the footholds identical to every other house.

Once the other Dauntless are gone, Rey stands in silence. She has questions and she expects answers for them. Ben says goodbye to the girl, Paige she’s called, before turning on Rey. The expression on his face is a mix of confusion, fear, and anger. Setting his hands roughly on her shoulders, he turns them and marches her over to the edge of the building. Rey fears he’s going to throw her over the edge but his voice is a low growl in her ear. 

“Down.” Rey is afraid. She turns and searches his eyes one more time before she obeys and climbs down. Fear is a new sensation to her, different than the nightmares she had as a child, and even different from the fear of Choosing Day. This is a painful hollow feeling in her stomach, like when Poe had chosen Erudite. It feels like Rey is getting ready to lose the only ally she has in Abnegation that is close to her age.

Rey tries to swallow, but her mouth and throat are too dry and her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth. She looks up with a glare, daring to be defiant against this boy - no, man - next to her. Dressed like this, in all black with a Dauntless demeanor, Ben no longer looks like the eighteen-year-old boy from Abnegation that she thought she knew. With his arms crossed over his chest, he frowns down at her. “Go home, Rey.”

“No.” Rey’s voice sounds braver than she feels, and for that she is thankful. “I think you owe me some answers.” She tries to keep on a brave front but her bottom lip quivers. It’s cold - the wind whips through her and she shivers realizing she’s still only in her robe and pajamas, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“Well, you’re not getting any. Go home.” His voice darkens and Rey knows he’s trying to frighten her.

“Why are you pretending to be Dauntless?” Rey asks, ignoring his demand. She knows Ben probably won’t answer, but she remembers what the old lady said almost a week ago and frowns. “Is it because you’re…” Rey looks around and Ben's eyebrows furrow in suspicion and confusion.

“Because I’m what?”

“The… The lady… when she died she told me something silly and I think it’s messing with me.” Rey shakes her head again but raises her eyes to meet his. Curiosity definitely lingers in his eyes. Rey looks around again, feeling paranoid. “She told me that neither you, nor I, nor she belonged here because we were…” the woman who had given Rey’s aptitude test had said she wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone about her inconclusive result on the aptitude test but now, more than ever, Rey wants to know more about Ben, this man in front of her who seems to be leading two different lives.

Taking her by the elbow, Ben pulls Rey into an ally, out of the open area of the street. He leans over her, her back pressed to the wall and his palms resting on the concrete next to her head. He catches her eyes with his. “What were your test results?” He asks. Rey’s stomach drops. _ What if he’s one of the reasons I’m not supposed to tell anyone? _

“Abnegation,” Rey states, keeping her eyes locked on his as she replies. Ben frowns and shakes his head before looking her over, eyes flitting across her face, down to her mouth, lower to take in the rest of her before returning to her eyes. 

“I think you’re lying to me.” He states and Rey can’t quite tell what emotion is hidden in his voice.

“Why would I lie to you?” Rey asks, watching him curiously - confused.

“I’m going to ask you again,” Ben’s voice is darker this time and Rey frowns, a shiver running down her spine. “What were your test results?”

“Abnegation,” Rey states, unblinking. She sees something flash across his face but it’s gone as soon as it comes.

“Time to get you home.” Ben is definitely unhappy with Rey. His hand is on her elbow again and he’s leading her through various twists and turns. When they stop they are at his door - not Rey’s. Rey looks up at him in confusion but he shoves the door open and drags her inside.

Ben’s home is identical to every other home Rey has been in plain furniture, plain floors and walls, plain everything. He points to the couch. “Sit. I’ll be right back, you know where the bathroom is if you need it.” Turning, he thumps up the stairs. Rey nods and watches him go. His footfalls are heavier than hers as she follows him slowly up the stairs and she realizes that she’s still barefooted when a small jolt of pain sears up her heel.

When she gets to the bathroom Rey washes her hands and splashes some water on her face before smoothing back her hair and redoing her buns quickly. She picks up a washcloth from one of the hangers in the shower and wets it, dabbing at her foot cautiously. It hurts a bit, but it’s not bad enough that she can’t walk. She doesn’t hear Ben’s approach, but when she looks up he’s paused in the doorway, shirt half-buttoned, and looking at her as if the sight of her confuses him. Rey remembers thinking that she was sure Ben was built lean and strong under his shirt and now that she can see the slight definition of the muscles in his stomach and chest. Her mouth goes dry in the realization that she was right. She drops her eyes when she realizes she’s staring, her cheeks heating as she tends to the cut on her foot.

Rey jumps when large warm hands take the washcloth from her. She blinks up at him, startled, but he gives her what she would like to think is a smile. He sits on the floor and props her foot upon his knee before gently dabbing at the cut on her small foot. “It’s not deep. If we keep it covered it should heal just fine.” Ben has the first aid kit from under his sink open and sprays some antiseptic spray on the cut before covering it with a bandage. This change in demeanor has Rey’s head reeling in confusion. With Ben this close she notices he has a scar that drapes from one side of his shoulder to the other and her brows furrow.

“Did you get this playing Dauntless?” Rey asks, her voice soft as she touches the scar. At her touch, Ben jerks back, surprised, and turns his attention to the first aid kit and cleaning up his bathroom quickly.

“Something like that.” He leaves the room and Rey is afraid that she’s upset him again or reminded him that he was upset with her before they had gotten to his home. He returns after a moment with Rey’s bag and she frowns. Why did he have her bag? “You left this at the Elderly Home the other night…” He states and Rey is thankful to realize what this meant. She doesn’t have to walk home barefooted.

“Thank you.” Rey breathes and he nods, giving her a small smile. 

“Change, I’ll be downstairs when you’re done.” He tells Rey before pulling the door closed. Rey hears his heavy footfalls on the stairs and quickly changes, her cheeks hot and heart hammering in her chest.

By the time they get back to Rey’s house, the sun has started coming up and the sky is a sort of mix between orange-red and purple-blue. It’s pretty and Rey enjoys the colours for a brief moment. That moment is up, however, when Rey notices her mother standing in the doorway with a look of worry on her face. “Rey.” She breathes, resting her hand on her chest. “I was going to give you fifteen more minutes before telling your father you were gone.” 

“Mom I-” Ben cuts her off, resting his large hand between her shoulder blades as he stepped forward.

“I apologize, Mrs. Andor. I usually take some breakfast to a few people I know in the factionless sector. Rey saw me walking and offered to help.” Rey blinks up at him. Ben is like her, she realizes, lying so easily that both of them would have failed out of Candor's initiation the first day. “It was very kind of her. When we were finished, I remembered I had the belongings she left at the Elderly Home when she had her trip to the hospital.” Rey’s mother gives him a smile and a nod.

“I appreciate you looking after my daughter so well, Ben. The doctor said that if you hadn’t taken her to the hospital she may have never woken up.” Rey blinks from her mother to Ben and back in confusion. Ben had taken her to the hospital? Rey thought he had just called for someone else to take her. A yawn escapes her and Jyn frowns. “Let’s get you upstairs and back to bed young lady, you aren’t supposed to be up and about just yet.” Rey doesn’t argue, the weight of the activity of the night finally sinking her into exhaustion.

“Thank you for the walk, Ben.” Rey states softly, dipping her head to him.

“Thank you, Rey, for accompanying me.” Ben nods to her and then her mother. “Mrs. Andor. Have a lovely day.” It only takes Ben a moment to disappear from view and when Rey turns to her mother she has a small, knowing smile on her face. Rey follows her mother into the house and heads back up to bed, hardly able to keep her eyes open once the adrenaline finally wears off.

* * *

  
  


Rey doesn’t know for how long she sleeps, but the smell of banana bread wakes her. Her mother usually only bakes banana bread once a month, when a shipment from Amity comes in, so she knows that it was some time on the third Sunday of the month. Getting up, Rey changes into a clean dress, one of her nicer ones, since she knows they will be attending church later that evening, and fixes her hair which has fallen from it’s buns some time during her sleep. Moving downstairs quietly, Rey smiles seeing just her mother in the kitchen. Her father and Randolph must be out doing something together.

“Can I help?” Rey asks, moving to wash her hands in the sink. Jyn smiles and nods, giving her a bowl to stir while she wraps loaves of already made bread in thin cloths. On their table are nine loaves of already made bread of varying flavors, the tenth baking in the oven. Rey wonders briefly if Ben likes any of these kinds of bread and blushes at the thought.

“Do you think Ben likes banana bread?” Jyn asks, startling Rey from her thoughts as if she had just read them. “Maybe you should bring a loaf to him in thanks for taking such great care of you the last two weeks, and making sure you were alright when you hurt yourself.” Rey nods along with her mother’s words, absentmindedly before pouring the mix from her bowl into the pan for Jyn to put into the oven. Jyn hands Rey a wrapped loaf of banana bread and Rey nods again.

“I’ll be back soon.” Rey states and Jyn just smiles.

“Take your time, your father and Randolph are helping set up the church. There’s going to be a wedding. Makayla Smythe and Anthony Palmer are getting married.” Rey is a bit surprised by this news. Makayla was a year above her in school, she’s only seventeen.

“Isn’t she young to get married?” Rey asks, pulling on her shoes.

“Your father and I were married when we were 18. Age is just a number when you’re in love.” Jyn whispers, a smile curling her lips as she remembers. Rey has been to quite a few weddings growing up, but she never really realized at what age most people got married in Abnegation. She knows they have strict beliefs about not having sex. Rey blushes at the thought, before marriage, but otherwise, she never learned about marriage customs. “As long as you’re an adult, you’re allowed to get married after six months of marriage counseling from one of our faction leaders. I believe Alistar was the one overseeing these two.” Rey’s blood runs cold for a moment at the man’s name. Something about him has always felt off to Rey, but she holds her tongue and shakes herself out of it.

“I won’t be very long.” A blush heats her face as Rey exits her home, making her way slowly to Ben’s residence.

When Ben opens the door he seems surprised, his hair disheveled and his shirt crooked. “Did I wake you?” Rey asks, blushing again before offering out the loaf of bread. “I… My mother… Here.” Rey keeps her eyes low as she waits for a response. When none comes, she dares to glance up at him through her lashes, catching a stricken, surprised look on Ben’s face. “It’s a thank you for helping me during my first weeks of initiation and making sure I got to the hospital when I hurt myself.” Ben steps aside and Rey blinks up in confusion, forgetting her shyness for a moment.

“Thank you, Rey. Please come in.” Rey nods and enters, looking around in confusion. The living room is in disarray, couch cushions are in the wrong places and the table is in a different spot than where it should be. Ben shuts the door and takes the loaf of bread from Rey and into his kitchen. He’s quiet, his shoulders slumped. He doesn’t stand as tall and proud in Abnegation gray as he does in Dauntless black, and Rey wonders why. He cuts two pieces of the banana bread and returns to Rey, offering a piece. Rey shakes her head but he frowns. “Take it, please.” His voice is soft, different than Rey has ever heard him speak before and she’s concerned.

“Are you coming to the wedding?” Rey asks, trying to fill the silence. One shoulder lifts in a shrug as Ben eats and now she is even more concerned. “Ben?” Ben blinks down at her as if he’s seeing her for the first time and the air leaves her lung in surprise - he looks broken and tired. “Ben, what’s wrong?” Rey asks. Ben swallows and Rey touches his arm gently, taking his free hand in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m fine, Rey.” He whispers and Rey knows he’s lying but she also knows better than to pry. “I’ll come to the wedding tonight, yeah.” Rey smiles at this. At least she will have someone there that she will be happy to see. She eats the bread slowly, savoring the taste with a smile. After a few moments she realizes, with a blush, that she is still holding his hand. She gives it a squeeze, and Ben a smile, before dropping his hand. “Thank you for the bread. Tell your mother thank you as well.” Ben leans forward and presses his lips to her forehead. Before she can react he’s gone, straightening up his living room. Rey turns to leave, feeling light and free for the first time since she was young. 


	5. Chapter 5

In school Rey heard that weddings in other factions are joyous affairs. Candor brides dress all in white and the couple recites everything they love about the other person. Erudite is similar, but they share knowledge they’ve found out about their partner through their time knowing each other; “I love you because and despite.” Amity couples have bright exciting weddings with lots of flowers and dancing; Dauntless couples do some daring act together. Abnegation is different and for some reason Rey thinks it would be the most beautiful of the faction weddings.

Cassian and Alistar are the leaders of the faction, so together they lead the ceremony. The bride and groom are dressed in their Sunday best, because all wedding ceremonies are performed during church on Sunday nights. The families of the bride and groom sit in the front pews as the couple stands in front of Alistar. Rey smiles at her mother next to her before she looks around - Ben said he would be there, but Rey hasn’t seen him yet. As the ceremony begins, Rey feels someone slide into the seat next to her and she looks up - a knot she didn’t realise was there dissolving from her chest - as his warm hand squeezes hers gently.

Rey gives Ben a shy smile before turning her attention back to Alistar, who has the most curious look on his face, like he’s upset to see Ben sitting with them. He starts the ceremony, his voice carrying throughout the church. “We’re here to witness the joining of two people into one, Makalya Smythe and Anthony Palmer. If you’ll please open your Bibles to Ephesians 5:22, we will begin.” Rey reaches forward at the same time Ben does and their hands touch. Rey blushes and lets Ben pull out the bible and open it before he shifts the book towards her so they can both read the passage as Alistar reads it aloud.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Pausing, Alistair gestures to Makayla with a nod and she gently, with shaking hands, washes Anthony’s hands in the bowl of water between them. Once she finishes drying his hands, Alistar resumes his reading. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” At this, Alistar nods to Anthony, who repeats the action Makayla had done for him, gently cleansing her hands before drying them as Alistar sets aside the book and Cassian comes forth with another basin of water.

“Anthony, if you would like to begin,” Alistar suggests and Anthony nods, helping Makayla sit so he can wash her feet as he recites Abnegation’s manifesto. “ _ I will be my undoing if I become my obsession. I will forget the ones I love if I don’t serve them. I will war with others if I refuse to see them. Therefore I choose to turn away from my reflection, to rely not upon myself but on my brothers and sisters, to project always outward until I disappear and only God remains.”  _ He dries her feet carefully before smiling up at Makayla with a smile so bright Rey can’t help but smile with him. As they switch places, Rey catches Alistar looking at Ben again. Rey looks to Ben and sees that he is pale and his eyes keep flickering from Alistar to Makayla and Anthony and back.

When Alistar starts speaking again, to pronounce the new couple husband and wife, Ben gets up and leaves. Rey is startled by his sudden departure and looks to her mom in surprise. Jyn takes Rey’s hand in hers and squeezes, giving her a soft smile. When the ceremony and our usual church service is over, Rey looks to her mother again. “Mom…” Rey states softly, “I’m worried about Ben.” She can’t believe she admitted it to her mother but she has to find out what’s going on. 

“Go.” Jyn whispers, “Make sure he’s alright.” Rey nods and leaves as quickly as is polite before breaking out into a run once she is outside.

When she knocks on the door Ben seems startled to see her standing there. “Rey, what are you doing here?” He asks, pulling Rey inside and shutting the door. “You need to leave,” Rey doesn’t get the chance to explain herself before there is a loud banging on the front door. Ben looks at her with wide eyes and pushes her towards the stairs. “Go.” Ben whispers, clearing his throat. “Go upstairs and wait until I tell you to come downstairs.” Rey doesn’t want to leave him when his face is filled with so much terror, but she obeys and runs up the stairs.

There are voices downstairs but Rey can’t make out what they’re saying, arguing. She creeps closer to the edge of the landing and hears the sound of something hitting flesh and a pained gasp. Her stomach churns. She pulls her shoes off and pads quietly down the stairs. She is able to see into the living room from four steps above the bottom. Both Ben and his guest, Alistar, have their backs towards her. Ben’s shirt is off and the air is sharp and painful in Rey’s lungs when she inhales in surprise. Crossing Ben’s back is varying degrees of bruising and cuts; and the belt in Alistar’s hand is the culprit. When she sees the older man, Ben’s  _ guardian,  _ swing the belt again anger bubbles up inside her and Rey jumps the last few stairs and runs at him, shoving him roughly away from Ben. “Stop it!” Her voice is loud and bold, a voice that she isn’t sure was hers. The belt connects with her cheek and she gasps but doesn’t back down as she stands in front of Ben, preventing Alistar from swinging at him again.

“Stay out of things you don’t understand, child.” Alistar sneers.

“No. If you want to get to him you’ll have to get through me.” Rey sounds braver than she feels, but she cannot let him hurt Ben. Alistar swings again and Rey braces for an impact that never comes. Instead, the belt is wrapped around Ben’s forearm and the look on his face is deadly.

“You can beat me all you want, Alistar, but never, ever lay a hand on her.” Suddenly Ben is Kylo, the man all the Dauntless thinks he is. The belt is yanked from Alistar’s hand and used against him, a hard blow sending the man toppling to the ground. Ben drops the belt in surprise, takes Rey’s hand in his, and runs.

* * *

  
  


Rey doesn’t know for how long they run, but when Ben finally lets her stop they are somewhere in the Factionless sector. “Ben?” Rey asks, turning to him. He’s shaking from head to toe and he looks so broken, standing in front of her with his arms wrapped around himself. “We have to go back.” Rey states softly as she looks around in hopes of finding something to tend to Ben’s wounds. Ben doesn’t even acknowledge her voice and she moves to stand in front of him. “Ben, did you hear me?”

Ben looks up then, as if he’s surprised to see her standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. “Your face.” He whispers, reaching out to touch her cheek. The stinging pain that had disappeared in her adrenaline haze returns and Rey gasps, pulling back in surprise. “I can’t believe he hit you. I can’t believe you saw that. What were you thinking?” His voice turns from surprise to anger quickly and Rey frowns, never moving her hands from her hips.

“Now you listen here Benjamin Solo, don’t you  _ dare _ get mad at me for trying to help. I don’t care that I got hurt. I just care that he stopped hurting you. And you hit him back! Maybe he will leave you alone now that you’ve fought back. We  _ HAVE  _ to go back and report this.” Ben is already shaking his head at the mention of reporting it.

“Don’t you think I’ve tried, Rey?” His voice is soft, pleading. Rey hears the horn of the train blare from somewhere close by and he takes her hand again. “Come on.” 

He doesn’t tell her where they’re going but when they reach the train tracks Rey thinks she knows. As the train passes, Ben takes a running start before throwing himself into the train car. Rey gives all she can to keep up and grab the hand hold of the door to the train car before pulling herself in with a rush of pride. Ben sits almost completely against one of the walls of the train car, but Rey knows he has to be in pain. “Ben…” Rey states, kneeling next to him. “Please… Please tell me where we’re going.” He shakes his head and pulls Rey to sit down next to him. 

“Just… just sit with me for a while, Rey, please?” Rey nods and sits, their arms bumping against each other with the swaying of the train car. 

A moment of realization dawns on Rey as she watches him. She touches the mark she had noticed and stares up at him with wide eyes. “That’s why you were so quiet this morning?” Rey asks softly. Ben just nods and Rey thinks, trying to process everything.

* * *

  
  


Rey must have fallen asleep because some time later she is startled awake by shouts and two figures clamouring onto the train car the same way she and Ben had. Rey moves to sit up, blushing at the realization that Ben’s arm is draped across her shoulders. One of the people Rey recognizes is Paige from that night on the roof, and the other, to her surprise, is Rose. Rey frowns at Ben, but he just stands as carefully as he can and crosses over to Paige. “Did you bring the stuff?” He asks and Paige nods. “Why’d you bring the girl?”

“We both used to be Candor, Ben. She caught me waiting for the train and knew I was lying and wouldn’t let me leave without her.” Paige runs a hand over her hair with a frown. “She  _ knows, _ bro.” Ben and Paige look at Rose with a frown, and Rey’s attention is drawn to her as well.

“Hi again,” Rose gives Rey a bright smile and sits next to her. “Rey, right? You know Kylo?” She asks and Rey nods even though she doesn’t have an explanation to how she should know the man Rose thinks Ben is. “Paige told me he works at the fence but I know he’s lying. She plays with her left ear lobe when she lies,” Rose whispers and Rey giggles softly. “So you’re friends with him?” Rey doesn’t know how to answer the question but thankfully she doesn’t have to when she sees Ben turn towards her.

Ben’s voice cuts through the darkness. “Rey.” He holds out his hand for her and Rey stands, watching the other couple curiously. “We’re going to have to jump.” Rey nods, licking her lips. She had already figured that out. When they get close, Paige nods and steps up to the door before hurling herself into the darkness. Rey follows Ben, nervous to be finally jumping from a train like she had imagined doing a million times in Upper Levels. “Here we go.” Ben states before he jumps, pulling Rey with him. She lands on her feet at first but topples to the ground shortly after with a laugh. That was such a rush.

Rey realises, when she looks around, that they are at Navy Pier. They don’t go out too far, but far enough to where there is moonlight and a picnic table where they can sit. Paige drops a backpack onto the table and Rose looks at her curiously before turning back to Rey. She shrugs and watches as Paige pulls out a black t-shirt and a jar of salve. “Do you need help?” Paige asks but Ben has too much pride and shakes his head, opening the jar and dipping his fingers in to spread it across his own shoulders.

Rey watches quietly, nodding along to Rose’s chattering when appropriate, but she notices when Ben is struggling. Without thinking she moves forward, taking the salve from him and smoothing it slowly and carefully across all of the dark marks and cuts forming there. Ben doesn’t argue, but Rey feels him shudder under her fingertips. She blushes at how touching his bare skin makes her feel something hot curl in her stomach. After she’s done, Rey covers two open and bleeding spots with bandages and he pulls on a shirt, thanking her gently. Rey’s hands tingle from the warmth of his back and the closeness and calm she felt tending to him. Maybe she really is Abnegation.

Stuck in her own thoughts, Rey doesn’t realize Ben had turned towards her until the jar of salve is taken from her hand. She jerks back in surprise when he touches her, but he doesn’t let her get too far, his forefinger hooking behind her ear and the rest of his hand cradling her jaw. His hands are warmer than they were before. He slowly spreads the salve across Rey’s cheek. It’s cold and minty feeling and makes her shiver under his hand. “Thank you.” He whispers softly as he presses his forehead to hers gently. Rey blushes as they breathe the same air for several moments before Paige clears her throat.

“Kylo, they were back again today.” Paige states softly. Rey looks from Ben to Paige to Rose in confusion.

“Any idea what they’re doing?” Ben asks, pulling away from Rey. His shoulders are square and his jaw is set. He is no longer Ben, but Kylo. The two stand and walk away, Rose giving Rey a curious look.

“Any idea what they’re talking about?” Rey asks after several minutes.

“Probably Erudite hunting Divergents.” Rose stands and Rey stands with her. There’s a swing set nearby and Rose sits on one of the swings and starts to move herself a bit.

“Divergents?” the word makes Rey’s stomach plummet as she follows. She and Ben really are in danger.

“You know, people with freaky mind powers who don’t fit into just one faction?” Rose wiggles her fingers at Rey and Rey can’t help laugh at her expression. Laughter feels good, especially after the events of the day. Rey sits down on a swing and swings with Rose for a few moments before an idea comes to mind. 

“Rose?” Rey asks.

“Hmm?” Rose is swinging higher than Rey, her arms held out beside her as she swings backwards. Her hair flies around her face as if she’s falling, but upright and a tingle of fright runs down Rey’s spine in worry of Rose falling from the swing, but her companion thinks nothing of it as she swings forward to repeat the action again.

“You learn to fight as part of your initiation, right?”

“Yeah, why?” Rose leaps from her swing, body flying forward in a long arc, before she lands fully on her feet with a laugh. Rey isn’t as powerful so when she tries to do the same thing she lands about ten feet short of where Rose did. Her knees buckle and she collapses to the ground but laughs all the same.

“Do you think you could teach me some things?” Rey asks when Rose comes over to help her up.

“I’m not a pro but I could teach you some self defense.” She nods and Rey brushes herself off and looks around. They’ve lost sight of Ben and Paige, but she only worries for a brief moment before Rose draws her attention. “Here, let’s start with the basics.”

Rey and Rose work on a few different moves from different angles and Rey thinks she has most of the moves down when Ben walks up to them again. “It’s time to go. I’m sure your parents think I’ve kidnapped you, Rey.” As he’s talking, Rey feels a pair of hands on her shoulders and in a panic she turns and drives her elbow back into Paige’s stomach so hard she gasps in surprise. Rey squeals and apologizes several times before she realizes that Paige is laughing. It was a test and she had passed. Pride swells through Rey for a few moments before they hear the train horn again. “Come on.” Ben and Rose head back to the picnic table and Rey follows, apologizing to Paige again.

They catch the train. It’s a bit easier for Rey now, but Ben still seems to be in a bit of pain, a grimace set to his mouth. Rey reaches out and touches his shoulder and all he does is give her a soft smile. When Paige and Rose are gone, Rey sits, knowing it will be a bit of a ride back to Abnegation. Ben sits next to her and Rey gives him a small smile, something clicking in her mind that she had been thinking about for a while. “So…this morning?” She asks softly licking her lips and turning to face him. “This morning, when your living room was disrupted and you were so quiet…” 

“Alistar paid me a visit, yes.” Ben’s voice is soft, pained. Rey reaches out and takes his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He smiles at her and they fall into a comfortable silence.

Once they are back in Abnegation and they part ways, Rey feels his absence like a hole in her stomach. Her parents don’t question where she has been, her mother most likely having already told her father that she was worried about Ben earlier, but Jyn does fuss over Rey’s face. “I fell,” Rey explains and her mother accepts it. Rey has always been a bit accident prone.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning brings the final week of Abnegation initiation, and with it, Rey’s assignment to work in the Volunteer Building with her mother. Rey doesn’t mind working with her mother, it’s a calm, peaceful environment that keeps her relaxed and her mind mostly blank - except when she’s thinking about Ben. Rey is filing papers in one of the offices when Randolph enters. He gives Rey a shy smile and takes some of the papers from her to help with the filing. “I didn’t realize you were going to be working with us,” Rey comments softly, returning her focus to her work.

“Your father suggested it,” Randolph shrugs and smiles, “he said you were assigned here and it seemed like a good way to get to know you better.” Rey feels bad for a brief moment; she hasn’t really spent a whole lot of time getting to know Randolph like she should have been. Rey gives him a smile and is about to apologize when she feels his hand on her shoulder. “We should take a walk some time; after supper maybe?” Rey’s stomach drops as she blushes. He likes me? Rey knows over the past three weeks he had been watching her a bit, but so had her mother and father. The thought of Randolph liking her feels so wrong in her head that it makes her mouth feel dry.

“Randolph, I-” Her mother’s voice calls her to the front desk and she does her best to give Randolph an apologetic smile, even if she’s not sorry. She and her mother haven’t spoken much this morning - Rey thinks she’s suspicious of her and Ben - but she sets the papers aside and leaves the office to find her.

When Rey enters the main lobby, she pauses, finding her mother talking to Ben. He smiles when he sees her and Jyn waves her over. “Ben has asked to have lunch with you, Rey.”

“That’s very kind. Thank you, Ben.” Rey smiles at her mother and takes Ben’s offered arm with a blush.

“You have an hour for lunch, Rey. Usually it’s a bit later than this but I think I can make an exception - just this once.” Jyn gives them a look and Rey can’t help but blush. Rey has some explaining to do when she gets back.

When they’re outside of the building, Rey looks up at Ben in surprise. “What’s going on, Ben?”

“I never got to thank you for yesterday.” Ben states softly, leading them towards his house. “I’d like to think that lunch would be an okay thank you, but I wasn’t sure. Call this a leap of faith.” Ben laughs and Rey can’t help laugh with him. He feels lighter, happier today.

Ben’s house isn’t far from the Volunteer Building and only takes a couple of minutes to get to. He opens the door and lets Rey enter first. She looks around curiously. His home has been rearranged a bit, but not in the way it had been yesterday. Everything is in its proper place, just in different positions so there is more space in the living room, and the blinds that are pulled over the windows, causing the sun to cast a reddish glow over the entirety of the room.

“However,” Ben gives a laugh running a hand through his hair - it’s longer than what the Abnegation would approve of, and she wonders if he didn’t cut it when he was supposed to. “I realized while making lunch that I don’t know what you like.” His shoulders lift into a shrug and Rey blushes again.

“Whatever you’ve made is fine, Ben.” Rey states, giving him a smile. She’s telling the truth, just the fact that he made lunch for her sends butterflies reeling in a dizzying dance in her stomach. He moves into the kitchen and Rey follows, smiling to herself.

In Abnegation, most of the food is canned and frozen, since Amity farms are so far away. But once a month Abnegation receives a shipment of fresh fruits, vegetables and meats - usually chicken. The meat that Ben pulls out of the oven is something she’s never seen before. It’s brown and smells different than how chicken does. He sets the baking tray on top of his stove and turns off the oven before stirring a pot on the back burner. Carrots. Rey knows what carrots are, but she’s extremely curious about the meat. “What sort of meat is this, Ben?” Rey asks, moving to stand next to him. She takes a chance and gently rests her hand in between his shoulder blades.

Ben inhales sharply but relaxes almost instantly when he realizes it’s Rey who is touching him. With a smile in her direction, he retrieves a knife from the cutting block and a fork from the drawer. Cutting a piece, he offers it to Rey. She looks from him, his smile reaching his brown eyes, to the fork and back. He’s never given her a reason to not trust him, so she lets him feed her the bite, blushing at the intimate act.

Her embarrassment is wiped away when she chews and the flavor of the meat hits her tongue. It’s a thicker, warmer flavor than chicken - the texture a bit tougher, but salty and sweet at the same time. Rey hums, closing her eyes as she finishes the bite and smiles up at him. “That’s amazing!” She laughs softly.

“Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes, when we meet, Paige gives me things she says I have to try and won’t take no for an answer. Pork is one of them.” Rey’s curiosity spikes when he mentions Paige and she cannot help asking the question that has been bothering her for a while.

“Who is Paige to you?” Ben smiles at her and gestures to the cabinet.

“Set the table? I’ll explain as we eat.” Rey nods and retrieves the plates and silverware to set them out, one across from the other. Ben brings over the meat and carrots, serving them both before helping her sit. Rey blushes at the gesture but smiles when he brings two glasses and a pitcher of water from his fridge. When he’s finished pouring them each a glass, he sits and smiles.

“Paige and I have been best friends since Mid-Levels. I think we were in like fourth year?” His eyes are distant as he remembers. “They’re Candor born, her and Rose, and one day she got into trouble with a couple of the older kids. I didn’t think about it a whole lot except that it was my duty to help her. So I intervened. I stomped the hell out of one of the boys and the other turn and ran. From that day forward we were friends, but it wasn’t the last time she got herself into trouble with her smart mouth. From then until Choosing Day, I saved her sorry hide at least five times.”

“Why does she call you Kylo?” Ben takes a bite of his food and Rey follows, chewing as she waits for his answer.

“In Mid-levels we were in Latin together and my name assigned to me by the teacher was Caelum, which means sky. It somehow morphed into Kylo as we got older and it just sort of stuck. We made a deal that no matter what factions we choose, we’d still be friends, and we’ve kept that deal. She works in the control room that watches over the entire city’s surveillance. There’s a camera she watches closely in the factionless sector. That is our signal. If she sees me there, she knows to jump on the next train to Navy Pier.”

“That’s how she and Rose found us last night?” Rey didn’t realise that she had eaten everything on her plate until she went to take another bite. Ben laughs and cuts Rey another piece of meat. Taking second helpings was widely frowned upon as being self indulgent, but here in the privacy of Ben’s home, it didn’t seem like a bad thing at all.

“Eat it. You could use the nutrition.” Ben states softly. “You’re so thin, watching you some days I’m afraid the wind will carry you away.” Rey blushes at his comment but nods, eating the other piece of meat while he tells her about the varying kinds of trouble he and Paige got into growing up, and she finds herself laughing more than she has in years.

Rey gathers their utensils and brings them to the sink while Ben puts away the remainder of the meat and carrots. “You don’t have to do that, Rey.” Ben tells her as she turns on the hot water and starts to scrub one of the plates.

“Don’t be silly Ben. You cooked and I’ll clean up.” He doesn’t relent though, and they end up doing the dishes together. After she hands him the last plate to rinse, Rey giggles softly. Ben looks at her like she’s gone crazy. “The first time we met… We ended up doing the dishes together and you yelled at me.” Rey giggles and Ben chuckles when he remembers.

“You looked so scared in that moment.” He leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry for frightening you.”

“I wasn’t scared of you, just your mood swings - they give me whiplash.” Rey admits, and Ben nods like he knows what she’s talking about. Offering her the hand towel, Ben retreats to his living room and Rey dries her hands before following. In the living room, Ben is messing with a black box with buttons on it and what looks like a data disc like the ones they keep information on at the hospital. “Ben?”

Music starts from the black box and Rey is a bit startled. She hasn’t heard music except for the few times she had gone to Amity. To hear it in Abnegation is new, but also forbidden. When Ben takes her hand Rey squeaks in surprise. “Ben, you know having music here isn’t allowed. You could get into trouble.” Rey’s argument dies when she feels his large warm palm on her waist and allows herself to be led back towards the living room.

“Paige has a partner whose best friend is an Amity transfer. On one of the nights we met to hang out, I watched them dance in a stolen moment that I’m pretty sure I wasn’t meant to see. I asked her to teach me so I could have stolen moments like they did.” Ben twirls Rey effortlessly and she can’t help but laugh. When she is back in his arms, he sways them back and forth slowly along with the music. “I’ve wondered what it would be like to dance with you since then.” He admits as Rey rests her free hand on his shoulder, playing with the curls at the back of his neck as they sway.

“I’m glad you’re not fussing too much about this, I was afraid you’d be a little stiff.” Ben teases before a serious look crosses his face. “Rey…” She realizes how close they are then - his hand burning hot through the shirt against her lower back, and they’re less than six inches apart. When Ben moves, she knows he’s going to close the distance between them and she closes her eyes, anticipating it. Rey feels him move closer, so they’re breathing the same air, and then there’s a knock at the door. Suddenly Ben’s warmth is gone and he’s turning off the music and shoving the player under the couch. Rey feels cold without his hands on her and his body so close. She blushes when there’s another knock on the door.

It takes Ben three strides to get to the door and yank it open. To their surprise, Randolph is standing at the door, hand poised to knock again. “I-I was…” Ben’s height obviously intimidates Randolph. “Jyn sent me to fetch Rey.” Rey glances at her watch and frowns. Has it already been an hour?

“Right, thank you for lunch, Ben, it was lovely.” Rey gives Ben her brightest smile as he walks her out - which he returns before he looks back to Randolph with a look Rey can’t quite place. “I’ll see you soon?” Rey asks, gently touching Ben’s hand.

“Sooner than you think.” Ben states, kissing Rey’s knuckles before retreating back into his house and shutting the door.

“I don’t like him,” Randolph states as they walk back to the Volunteer Building. “He looks at you like you’re a piece of meat.” Rey blinks and frowns, trying to think of an instance where she has ever caught Ben looking at her like that. She finds none.

“Being judgemental is selfish, Randolph.” Rey states softly entering the Volunteer Building. “If it hadn’t been for Ben, I could have died when I hit my head. He’s incredibly kind and helps people no one else wants to help. He does a really good job of it without complaint.” Randolph’s comment makes Rey mad, but she knows if it ever comes to words - or blows - between the two of them, Ben would win. Randolph and Rey resume their filing in a silence that lasts the remainder of their shift.

It’s Rey’s turn to make dinner on Thursday night and as she peels potatoes she goes over her week in her head. Randolph hasn’t said another word to her in the three days since he hinted he liked her. Ben has met her for lunch every day - bringing it to her instead of them going back to his house. Rey wonders if he regrets what happened Monday; she never got the time to ask him being in such a public place. On Tuesday she was moved to a different office to help file and organize books and remained there on Wednesday as well . Today, however, she was assigned to the front desk to help manage volunteers. Many non-Abnegation would use this power to orchestrate revenge on people who have upset them, such as Randolph’s behavior has upset Rey, but she is above that type of behavior. So she just does as her job instructs her to, listing off where each volunteer will be placed that day. The day passes uneventfully.

That evening, as she’s cutting potatoes, Rey’s mother comes in - earlier than expected - without her father. “We’ll be setting an extra place tonight, your father told me that we will be having a guest.” Rey cringes inwardly to herself. The only guest they ever have is Alistar, and she really doesn’t want to see him, the fading bruise on her cheek throbbing at the thought. “Randolph, will you help Rey set the table? The guest spot can be between you and Cassian, across from Rey.” Randolph frowns but nods and moves to gather the things needed to set the table.

Rey sets the potatoes to boil with several other vegetables: broccoli, cauliflower, peas, and squash - and start working on making biscuits. Biscuits, like banana bread, are a rarity for Rey to make. Abnegation never has the means to make the fluffy bread, things like milk are given to families with growing children - but Cassian had managed to bring home the ingredients requesting that Rey make them for dinner with the Blacks on Friday night. .

Rey is kneading dough, humming softly to herself, when she feels a hand on her waist. “Hello, Rey.” Rey jumps and drops the dough she was turning over, scattering flour all over both of them with a surprise squeak. She pulls her elbow back, almost successful, and looks up. She blinks at Ben, who has both of his hands blocking her elbow and a laugh on his lips. “I should have never let Rose teach you that move.” Ben whispers in her ear before straightening up to brush the flour from her cheek. Randolph comes into the kitchen, concern etched on his face.

“What’s going on, Rey? I heard you scream.” Rey frowns at the concern in Randolph’s voice. He really does like her. Rey shakes her head.

“Ben surprised me, that’s all.” Rey smiles up at Ben and giggles softly as she reaches up to pull him down by the shoulder. He bends down and she brushes flour from his hair, grinning at him as she does so. She hears Randolph’s footsteps retreat as she is brushing flour from Ben’s shirt.

“You made quite the mess, Rey.” Ben’s tone is almost suggestive and Rey blushes.

“What are you doing here, Ben?” Rey asks as she brushes more flour off of herself and moves to get the broom so she can sweep the kitchen.

“Your father invited me for dinner yesterday - he didn’t tell you?” Rey shakes her head, flour fluttering from her hair like snow. “Finish your work. I’ll sweep.” Ben commands with a smile, taking the broom from her to sweep up the white grains from around their feet. Rey shakes her head at him again but continues, rolling out the dough before cutting out the biscuits. Ben washes his hands and retrieves the pan from the far counter. Rey hands him a biscuit as she cuts it out and he puts it in the pan without a word.

Rey smiles to herself at how easy it is to work with him making dinner. “I’ll put these in.” He states softly, kissing her hair as he takes the tray from her, “You go clean up - you’re covered in flour.” Rey laughs and nods before heading to the stairs. Rey notices, when she reaches the stairs, that her mother and father are sitting close together with their heads bowed as they talk, and Randolph is nowhere to be found.

Rey climbs the stairs and quickly changes into clean clothes before returning to the kitchen. Jyn is stirring the soup and Cassian and Ben are talking quietly in the living room when she comes back down. She notices that Ben has cleaned off the counter and put everything away while she was gone. Jyn smiles at her and offers the oven mitt. “I believe your biscuits are done, Rey.” Rey smiles and takes the mitt from her, pulling the tray from the oven. Setting it aside, she looks at her mother who is smiling at her.

“What?” Rey asks, turning off the oven and the burner. She lets the soup simmer a bit as she takes the biscuits off the tray and puts them on a plate before setting them aside to cool.

“Ben is a nice boy,” Jyn muses, “handsome too.”

“He’s very nice.” Rey states, trying to cover her thoughts as she nods absent-mindedly. She blushes when she realizes she just agreed with her mother about Ben being handsome. “Dinner is ready, could you call everyone to the table for me?”

Rey tries to hide her flushed face as she brings the soup to the table. When everyone is gathered, they serve dinner and Rey says grace before eating. She recalls the first time Ben had eaten dinner with them, she had held his hand during the grace. Rey blushes more at the thought when Ben looks up, giving her a nervous smile.

“So.” Cassian speaks after several minutes, clearing his throat as Rey chews her food. “On Tuesday I had a young man come into my office and make me a proposal.” Rey looks up at him before looking to Ben curiously. What had he done?

“Jyn and I have had an extensive discussion amongst ourselves, and with Ben, and have decided to allow Ben to court Rey - if she agrees to it.” Several things happen at once in that moment that Rey can barely register: Rey takes a sharp inhale of breath and chokes on the forgotten food in her mouth, spoon clattering loudly into her bowl. Ben gives Cassian a startled look, and Randolph stands so quickly that his chair topples over as his fist collides with Ben’s jaw.


End file.
